Sunday, July 31, 2005

july ends

what a month
so hot
so muggy
july
wishing for cool weather
like my soul
hot
restless
soul of thunder
heart of lightning
no rain
wind
easy blowing cool
wanting to break out of this cloud
of unknowing
this is not
weathering the storm
this is wishing the storm
to be
a cracking seige
on the bastion
on the walls
of
this aching
constant
holiday
these walls
hold us up
we hold the tools
to keep them
the
sons and daughters
of life
have stirred here
generations have passed
visitors
stewards
caretakers
the paint peels
the rough edges show
as the gods
hold court
and
we wait for the
nourishing storm
to break
into
clean fresh air
clearing the heavy
world of worry
i sit
in the center
a deep
well
mouldy and dank
coughing dark dreams
and yet
and yet
i know
the clouds will crack
the air will clear
as i sit in this darkness
this unknowing
that light and clarity
as bright as this is
smothering
lies waiting
it will
shine
in it's
own
time


Saturday, July 30, 2005

21

today
my little girl
my rope swinging
joyous
beautiful
love
my baby
my light
my roll my eyes
unprdictable
hard working
strong
radient
little girl
is
officially
in the world
a woman
oh
that dancing with the boa
giggiling in the backyad
playhouse
singing in the bathtub
beauty
my laughing till she falls down
child
is twenty one
and
i pray
and
i send
impenetrable
protection
i send
warmth and security
great love
good work
humor and ease
beauty
light
song, fresh air, sunshine
security, protection
revelation, fulfillment
rest
clear waters
fresh food
healing power
spiritual ease
and
all that is kind good
full of health
my little girl
in
my heart
in
my always
in
my forever soul
is
twenty one
may she know
true
love
and
live out her life
in perfect health
in joy
in depth
in art
there
are no words
to describe
no song
whose
melody
can carry
the
focus
of this prayer
as she
moves within
her destiny
i know that
even after
my death
i am with her
and
my baby girl
is twenty one
today

job

yep got one
little one
five days in october one
a job
like a comet going by
more work than that is required
more than
five days
five months
five years
yes
work
precious work
feeds the soul
feeds my family
i envy
the work force
decent people
every day people
love lives
children
car payments and mortgages
building things
making it
happen
in the early morning
hummingbirds are out
working
insects hum
plants reach for the sun
the planet spins
the solar system
keeps time
as we
are flung
through endless space
a speck
on the edge
of a galaxy
on the edge of
a billion trillion
galaxies
rotating
exploding
working
my heart beats
with the endless numbers
and
my only
wish
is for
the work
i
so
love



Friday, July 29, 2005

dudley

four thirty
a.m.
rooster crows
four thirty one
a.m.
rooster crows
so it goes
all morning
tests my
will
my patience
i have visions
of
rooster on
my plate
rooster
for
a red tail hawk
rooster
for
whoever wants him
rooster crows
reminding me
that
perhaps
i
could be
up and at'em
i could be
shaking
the early worm branches
i could be
out there
bringing in cash
but what do i do
i lie there
wishing harm
to
the rooster
who reminds me
constantly
that life
screams through his veins
like lava
that
he must
declare life
always
that life goes by
and
thae rooster
lives
he is no ship in a bottle
he is no
effigy in wax
he is no
monk in a cell
he is vital
he is
completely
rooster
make no bones about it


Thursday, July 28, 2005

turning it over

i forget
there is the
other
who gives me
my heart beat
my perception
i forget
to rely on that
to turn it over
mars is returning
we
all of us
live
in the endless
idea
yet
we think
i imagine
we can control
the trust
and notion
of that
from which
we come
i am
no more
and
no less
than all that
has come
before
after
and
is
i come from that
silence
better still
i am that
silence
and
have been
always
so why not give in
how
is the question
my mind is dis eased
with control
with
thinking i have it
today
i give up
i give in
i turn it all over
i am help less
except
for this
i know
i
do not control
my destiny
my nowness
is
held like a butterfly
in the embrace of
that from
which
it all
is made
and
sustained
and
i give it all to
that
i turn it all over
i rest
i rest
i drift
with the winds
of all gods
all universes
all
nows




Wednesday, July 27, 2005

heat

summer
sizzle
hot wet heat
the garden screams
dog days
lie around
and stay
like tics in a wound
festering
till all thought
is muddled
puddles
of sweat
weep
to the floor
pipes condense
drip
drip
the former
air
heat rises
from the blacktop
like a desert
mirage
con ed
strains to keep up
swelter
sings through the wires
i
strain to see through
my
anxiety
i am a welfare mom
a
homeless nameless
being
stifling
in the heat
of my imagining
my church fan
is sagging
my
years
weigh in
the heat
stays
and grows
like
a
jungle vine
gripping
my
choke
this heat
seals my books
the wax melts
into the carpet
and
inside
i remain
cool
ahhhhhhhhh
i know
this heat
will
pass
is
passing
and
it nourishes
the earth
i am part of that
i am being nourished
so
play on


Tuesday, July 26, 2005

so now what

so now
what
heroes
killers
hookers and saints
so now what
politicians
doctors
corperations
priests
so now what
presidents
dictators
fundamentalists
freaks
so now what
the how and when have arrived
the how and when have passed
the this and that have shown their sides
nothing seems to last
what is new
myself's
grown old
my guitar leaves my hand
i've many things
to do to do
before somewhere i land
so now what
so now what
waiting for the lottery
the pimp the guru the geek
waiting for the final tick
the catholic the muslim the seik
so now what
and
where do we go
what enterprise is worth it
feed the starving
clothe the naked
say no to the bullet
to war
and so what
and so what
will the world keep floating
with the universe speak
will the gods go on gloating
because we all seem so weak
and so what
and so what
what now
what now
my aging skin
my wrinkles
my stiffening joints
my old man breath
my attitude that tingles
the hair on the back of my neck
speaks wonders
music feels it's way
and
what is so
and
what is so
and
is it
this
just this
i think the mermaids sing
to prufrock
i do
i think that
beauty takes the day
i think my thinks
until
the
until
who takes me
and
what then
i anticipate the final question
and
relish every moment
that's

what



still waiting

like a chicken on an egg
or a child at christmas
or a pregnant pause
or an actor in the wings

like a soldier facing battle
a prisoner waiting sentence
a driver caught in traffic
patient on a table

i wait for the gods to move

this long and sometimes
desparate
waiting
waiting for the phone
waiting for the mass to end
waiting for the loan
waiting around for this and that
and all i want is work
instead of feeling stuck here
like a bottom feeding jerk

let there be some news today
let there be a call
before this little home we've made
shudders from wall to wall

maybe i seem desparate
or simply out of air
i'm getting way to old for this
looming sad dispair

so let the gods of show biz
tap me on the arm
that i may pay for food and stuff
and no one comes to harm

Monday, July 25, 2005

soaked in satisfaction

it seems that
we
are soaked in
satisfaction
seems
that america
rolls along satiated
fat
fast food
and obesity
rule
every three seconds
a child dies
every three seconds
famine takes one
like the click
on a watch
like the snap on a finger
one child dies
and
burger king rules
and
cracker barrell turns
out
fat
by the ton
as
a child dies
in
niger
in angola
in
mexico
in
china
in
detroit
every three seconds
are we
soaked in satisfaction
or
are we
running
we are the fat kid in the
chocolate factory
we are
the enron ceo
we sit in our tower
eating doritos
as
one child dies
with every three second
crunch
with every
disposable treat
with every pile of food
sent back
and
the children die
and
the children die
and we
are
soaked in
satisfaction


Friday, July 22, 2005

cold

in summer
most have beaches
most have picknics
many go camping
cookouts
swimming
all that stuff
me
i have a cold
a
coughing
wheezing
cold
in the heat
there is a message here
i need a translator
an interpreter
i need
i need
i need
sooo disgusting
where do i go from here
life is taking
my life
down
dark health paths
as usual
i wait
for the voice
who is silent
to my
ears
open to my
heart


Thursday, July 21, 2005

it is nice

nice to have money
nice to have love
food on the table
rain from above
big ole' garden
filled with corn and beans
cats in the window
hummingbird sings
little bright flowers
blooming my eyes
memories of children
giving me the sighs
house i have lived in
lo these many years
beauty around me
bringing me to tears
friends come to visit
talk of this and that
chickens in the maples
cluck and peck and chat
the sky so blue now
the rain has passed
the yard needs mowing
i make me laugh
coffee on the desktop
love under blanket
warmth all around
the earth i thank it
i sing my gifts
as life goes down
listen to the music
of these gifts profound
could have good work
could have more money
i count my blessings
in my land of milk and honey



Tuesday, July 19, 2005

peace

how does it happen
where does it come from
inside
outside
what do you think
is on the outside
you
inside
seeing
defining
judgeing
your world
peace
think peace
inside
think peace outside
easy does it
easy
know
peace
how does it happen
where does it
come from
fall in
stop
look
listen
hear
the hearts are beating
now
billions
of
us
just wanting
peace
knowing peace
is better
knowing
peace
is
me
my inside
my outside
you
give it a chance
give peace
it's due
know

Monday, July 18, 2005

long days

these everlasting
long days
no work
feeling a bit
lost
confidence waneing
money running out
dark weather
out my window
storms inside my heart
why becomes the question
what happened is the next
fear and her old minions
approach me from the back
life is like the weather
many days of storm
suddenly the sunshines
and things don't seem so worn
my collars now are fraying
my hope does not exist
it's been to long without
the work
that i so sorely miss
so out into the universe
i place my lonely prayer
that all is well within my home
and work prosper share
let the clouds suddenly break
let the storms all pass
let me work so much that i
must complain of that
amen



Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Lime

i ain't talkin here about
the fruit
aint talkin about no
download
i ain't talkin about
peggy lee
i ain't talkin
baseball
i'm talkin
spikes
in the sinuses
back in a vice
sweating rivers
shivers
oh little tic
you help me be
sick
you little
prick
better not say
bite my ass
to no
tick
cause
she will
and then
you hit the
hay
at a hundred
and two
point
five
for days
i was thinkin
ooooh
if I live
i'll
do
if i live
i'll give
if i live
i'll be
soooo
good
little tick prick
make the big man
sick sick
emergency dr
say
take this
go home
so i do
am
here
waiting
for the next round
li'l tick prick
you make me sick

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

tired morning

ooooh i'm sooo tired
eyes sandy
sleepy
bed sounds like heaven
feel like curling
into
dream
flying
dealing with
eternity
ahh sleep
so nice
not today
not today
driving for hours
doing stuff
getting it done
but
bed
how nice it is
to curl up
soft blankets
pillow
blub blub blub
lada lada
dreammmm
mmmmm
mmm
mm
m

Sunday, July 03, 2005

sunny day

the air is sweet
i can feel
the eye of
all gods
happy today
the tide shifting
prayer flags in
the garden
wave sacred
wind
prayers waft
holy dust
life bursting
the all is
showing her laughter
and
we are here
seeing
feeling
holding the sails
clippers in the sea foam
salt air smiling
eyes stinging
joyfilled adventure
life
wraps itself
around us
in
love
we are the object
we are it's focus
we are the point
we are here now
we live
and
that is
the
message




Friday, July 01, 2005

so much life

yesterday i sat out with the horses
in the thundering rain out in their field
getting wet and watching all the trees
waving to the heaven rains appeal

as i sat in quiet soft communion
with that powerful kinship all around
i felt a subtle pulsing kind of union
with the universal force of life profound

standing in the tumbling soaking rain
with my equine friends their watchful hearts
i was thankful that i really could
be with them as they practised living art

life is like that flashing holy rain
opening my heart to kinder plains