Monday, October 31, 2005

too much not enough

i live a life of up and down
of sometimes doing well
feeling left so far behind
i mostly quake and quell

will the light ever shine
or will i keep pretending
will this struggle ever end
or is it never ending

i am lucky all in all
i've done what i have done
i'm not finished by a lot
i have more miles to run

i question though most every day
all my choices made
when i was young oh how they flew
through lifes confusing maze

yes i have had some moments great
and others filled with shame
all of them so fully stuck
forever to my name

now i sit here still in debt
still smarting from my past
praying for the light to shine
for lasting ease at last

i know that there are those who have
not even clothes to wear
starving homeless sick alone
with no one there to care

yes i know that i was born
beneath a lucky star
that i am here right where i am
through luck and help so far

still deep inside my light shines bright
i have much more to do
i must break free from not enough
i know what love can do

love's all i have when all is done
when sorrows loss is known
sadness is like clinging here
a puppy to his bone

today i make another stride
toward my unknown ryme
until that time i'll always work
to leave my griefs behind








Sunday, October 30, 2005

time

time has change like magical dust
we turned back our clocks back today
buying another minute or two
to put back into the day

as time looks over my rusty shoulder
memories are distant hard
looking back is not so good
movement we cannot retard

i had a dream of someone i loved
who gave me my greatest art moments
over twenty years have passed
and it hurts in my deepest componants

the memories that i have recorded
are bliss for a moment in time
the aftermatih of sorrow inside
is less than what was sublime

today is the day we turned back our clocks
today is all we have
to dwell in what once seemed to be
fells less like a stroke than a stab

so be where you are each moment right now
never move out of this realm
for nothing is real in memory
or that future visions can tell

we turned back our clocks oh yes we did
we turned them back an hour
not a minute was saved of our life right here
or a second to times brief dower






Tuesday, October 25, 2005

noreaster

familiar and exciting
the living breathing earth
the shelter and destroyer
the giver and the taker
the claiming of its own
this earth
whose star is smiling
balanced
on the edge
our milky way

who am i
like
jean val jean
i wonder
why am i
what is this
for what reason
is
love
the answer
is
compassion

how do i
keep my balance

there is a voice
chanting inside me
i hear it
faint
almost heard

it is a living voice
a song
a mantra
a thread
it holds me here
in place
i do not know
my purpose

still
i embrace my children

i fall heavily
into the rebirth
of my lovers arms
i fret and struggle
i laugh
i escape
i run into the wind
a lost child
filled with my prayer
my tears
neither
of laughter
or sadness
cry out
and
i feel the answer
i know the outcome
i dance
the dance of my
ancestors
i pray the dreams
of
all mankind
i accept
with reluctance
the foldings of the earth
its fire

i long for life
as it longs inside me

it is my cause
it is my purpose

as i
repent
as i try
again
again
and
again

and the wind blows hard
steady
it is my
celebration
it is my
evensong












Monday, October 24, 2005

the storm

a storm is coming
hide your head
the wind
might blow you
from your bed
a tree may fly
across the yard
and shingles dance
for rains reward

it's dark and windy
the mice have all hidden
the preachers are praying
aginst the forbidden
the lovers are loving
like clams in the sea
calm can no longer
be taken to be
the waves are all churning
deep out in the ocean
and all living creatures
have stopped all their motion
the storm is a comin'
thers no time for laughter
we're protecting our walls
from the coming disaster

we bought lots of candles
oil lamps and such
put food in the ice box
we won't suffer too much
unless the great windy
should break down our doors
and force all the water
to cover our floors
and like wendy
or dorothy, mary poppins or alice
we're picked up in the air
and
sent flying to dallas

the storm she is coming
the rains coming down
all the people are snuggled up
all over town
the streets are all empty
the children abed
the whole town is shaking
from what anderson cooper has said
better take cover
better leave town
the wind might not get you
but when the storm surge comes round
your house will be floating
your street will be rivers
the thought of it folks
just gives me the shivers

the storm is a raging
i'm going to bed
i'm cnn watching
i'm taking my meds
they know better than me
what's right out my door
what's out of my window
what's under my floor

the wall they may rattle
my tea cups might shake
'til cnn tells me
oh
i
can't
stay
awake








Saturday, October 22, 2005

cool rain

a blessing
really
smoke filters in
the smell
birch ash maple
the signals are there
following
my
unknown path

smoke
the result
the matter
the end

a fire

repentant

reluctant

wanting free travel

and

freedom
like lonliness
fetches
its
own adventure

rain patters wet
cold and easy
like dracula
or sherlock
in
wet streets
a mystery novel
lurks around
cigarette and collar

determined

tough

knowing

so where do you fit in

how does it work for you

are you brave

Thursday, October 20, 2005

puzzlement

an incident occured
a flash of
my dark side
jumped into the arena
surreal
as if
watching
a rememberance
or another
me
on the street
in new york
young people
angry with me
and my temper
on the brink
ready
to do
to take
unreasonable action
i did not
i was frightened
of myself
unable to react in
any way
but
with
awful patronzing
empty threats
empty me

when i think
i have the answers
another question
another
sadness

who is this man
from whom
i am speaking
who is this
who
is acting so
badly
so
unknown
yet known

i walked away
sad
with no excuses
much remorse
and
angry








Wednesday, October 19, 2005

the way

there is a quote in a holy book of many
that says I AM is the only creating force
i believe that what i see like any
is flowing through the frames of lovings course

the way itself is ever open narrow
and holds us in humanity at once
picking up our falling downs by barrels
helping when we take the hardest punch

I AM is the creator and creation
it's "what we see is what we get" each time
as we take our path through every season
while our fate is balanced on a dime

the answer lies in the balance of our actions
choosing all the best of lifes attractions


Sunday, October 02, 2005

panic

panic is a toad
filled with running warts
a boar with bloody teeth

panic is
a mirrors image

panic over
who what
and
when
is
an insidious
energy sapping
disease

panic over
time
over
place
or event
is
like a dark field
filled
with nettles

panic cripples
it is a self important
slough
over flowing
with the bile
of
worry

panic over what may come
is like
panic over
the date and time
of
extinction

panic

over
who is pleased
or
not pleased
over
fear of
retribution
money
love

is
to defeat
the joy
of
creation

there is no real room for it
no real
love
in it

panic
is a demon
a trickster
a clown
the jester of
the
darkside

don't panic

Saturday, October 01, 2005

october 1

the first day
always the first
day
rising
standing up
being at home
a blessing
on the first
every
day

there will be
a last day
and
it will start
a usual
first day

this day will matter
as i rise
as i dress
as i
brush my hair
my teeth
shower and shave

this day wil matter
this
first and last
day

how i love will matter
how i love
is all that will matter
on this first day
this last day

as i walk from my home
to my car
or as i rest
in my bed
reach for my love
or as i
speak my
last word

this day
this first day
this day of passing
into the known
into the unknown

today could be that day
so i love
and i watch
and i enjoy
this great gift
as i look through
the windows of being
as i travel the path
this path
i still tread

this is the first day
this is the first day
this is the first day

i am glad for it