christmas 2005

most of life
i
singular
i

red on the head
carrot top
brown eyes
freckles


my brothers all
towhead
blue eyed

priest in the hallway
mother gone to heaven
smell of lunch and chalk

wailing

echoing
echoing
echoing
down the corridors
of my
memory soul

father gone

walking away from
his resting place
brothers ahead
me behind

leaving home
lost
finding friends
losing love
discovering
poverty

singing
in my solitude
motorcycle freedom
weeping in the wind

and
in that wind
i flew
finding my heros
my saviors
my enemies
within

always within


left
leaving
always leaving

alone

seasons
children
joy
solitary fatherhood

years passed
searching
gnashing

a constant question
haunting me

why
then why
then why

late nights
early mornings
high and wandering
childhood god
abandoning
my notions
of
freedom

lifes
long dark road
sprinkled with the
light of children
walking running sprinting
gasping
drowning
falling

suddenly
light
miracle of love
flashing

after
three score years
you
look in
seeing
me

to my surprise

into
this tattered soul
this confusion
this
lone graduate of isolation

light

yes
i have had
some success

much wandering
from
arms to fragrant arms
from
sadness to hiding
holding tight
to
baccus

clinging

a barnacle
on the hull
of my
abandoned junk
filled with the prizes
of applaud
of ego

you have lifted me

you are the end and the beginning
of my no longer
lost
life

it is christmas

we are
scraping our barrel

waiting for the

nourishment of rain

the joy of work

and

i know
deeply

that life is all
ours now

we are on a new journey
we are
we
until
the final
luxury of breath

on this christmas day
you are my greatest gift
you are
my greatest love
you are my friend
companion
my truth

i love you

i thank
all gods
for your
soul
your
heart
your brilliant mind
your loyalty
your being

you
the great question

the great answer

you

my alpha
my omega

you

my
messenger
holding all endings
all beginnings

i am finished
i am just beginning

christmas

birth

new hope

joy

love

you:

my holyday