hernia

yep i have one
a
bulge from the hip
not painful
just a pain
old men get these
am i old now

outside my window
an old rotted tree
large in it's day
alive when i moved here
now the
earth
is claiming it
could it be that i am in
reclaimation?
the first stages
warning shots across my bow
the physical voice in me
saying
take it easy

i do not like
taking it
easy
even rest
even play
i like intensity
like fire
like passion
like seeking god

there are men
i have known
who work
hard
every
every day
lifting
building
holding the world
together
they give us warmth
food
shelter
their hands callused and sore
their backs aching
their tears
laboring
like sisyphus
surfacing
somtime company slaves
somtime loves laborer
i lift my children to my shoulders
i lift
i lift
i struggle
my uncallused hands
lift
in unfamiliar territory
and
my body
says
look here
look here